the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
