we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
