I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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