If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
