I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
