he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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