My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
