Umm I'm too high to move.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize