at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
