So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize