I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
