Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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