i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i may or may not be watching the land before time
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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