A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
