uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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