went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
