i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
