Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
