guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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