I feel great
I just peed on a car
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What a dumb baby whore.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
