I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
