so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
