life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
