I am puke
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
