oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize