he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
