I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
