Banned from zoo.
Again?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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