Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
they need to just BURY HIM!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
