Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
