Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
where are you?
Hypothermia
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
