So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
