I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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