my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wear drunk well.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize