I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
