My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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