He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
