I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
