we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
