I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
