he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
