i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
