I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I need to align my fucking chakras
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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