when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
