what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
