Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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