I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
