today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
