so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
