the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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