She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
