I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
