You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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