dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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