Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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