Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize