I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
please come you make the beer taste better
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
