3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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