had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
