Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
