let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
