Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
